Ok, time for a listmaster rant. As most of you know, I am the maintainer of The Internet OTR Digest, which is the role occasionally referred to as the “list mom.” It’s my job to stay out of the way of the discussion, basically shepherding the list behind-the-scenes to make sure it stays focused and interesting.

One of my serious pet peeves are posts that begin with, “I know this is off-topic, but…” then proceed to discuss something that is off-topic. I have become so annoyed with them I am instantly rejecting any posting that starts that way (or any variation thereof). Seriously; if one knows something is off-topic, is so certain the posting is off-topic that it’s necessary to announce it starting out, why the devil would one post it in the first place?

I’ve gone so far as to offer some routine offenders of this policy space on the blog server, so they can do what I’ve done - blog about whatever strikes their fancy (hey, this is my blog, so nothing I think about is off-topic here). To date, no one has taken me up on it, yet I continue to receive posts that start out proclaiming they don’t belong on the Digest. Four in the last week, in fact.

There’s clearly no solution to this problem (I mean, I offer space on the server with no takers, so I don’t know what the heck else I can do), but at least now posters won’t be surprised to get their posts returned if they start out shouting that their post belongs somewhere else. Really…if you say that, I’ll simply believe you and treat the post appropriately.

Ah, out with the old, in with the new. The television season is dead, long live the next television season. And to prepare for it, I’m going to review new shows as the pilots become available.

The Class; CBS, Monday, 8:30 PM

Oh…my…god.

What the heck was James Burrows thinking, directing this humorless schlock? Has he contracted Alzheimer’s disease, or is he just desperate for the money?

A class-full of people you don’t want at your party…

Sorry, a review should always start with the good stuff. Oh, wait…there isn’t any. And I mean any. So instead, I’ll start with the obligatory plot setup; preppy Ethan (Jason Ritter, Joan of Arcadia) is calling up all of his third-grade classmates inviting them to a party on the 20th anniversary of the first day of school that year. The group is about as dysfunctional as it gets, so much so that if this is what third grade is like, for the first time in my life I am grateful I missed out on it. There’s Lina Warbler (Heather Goldenhersh doing a terrible Paula Poundstone impression) who’s in the middle of being dumped, her goth-ish sister Kat (Lizzy Caplan, Related) with a mouth like a sailor’s, the mama’s boy Duncan (Jon Bernthal, How I Met Your Mother) playing video games in his bedroom, the dweeb Ritchie (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) who is prevented from committing suicide by the telephone call, the gay man Kyle (Sean Maguire), the news-woman Holly (Lucy Punch)…oh, heck, just do a little research and find every other caucasian stereotype (no, we wouldn’t want to have any actual diversity or anything) and throw them into a blender.

Anyway, the group gathers and as expected sparks fly; the newswoman busts on the gay guy then introduces him to her effete husband, when the guest of honor arrives and is surprised not to know any of these people. She’s not thrilled about the attention, and leaves him in the middle of the party before the first commercial. (Oh, that I had been able to follow her out of this, but no, I had to remain to warn you off. It’s the sacrifice I make…) But we’re not yet done; suicide-dweeb and Poundstone-clone-gone-wrong get together, Nicole (Andrea Anders, Joey, hammering the final nail into the coffin of her career), married to a football jock who doesn’t love her, reacquaints herself (and we’re talking reacquaint - wink, wink, nudge, nudge) with her old boyfriend Duncan and his loud stereotype mother, goth-girl makes nice with the devastated preppy-dude, and everyone is acting way over the top. ‘Course, you can’t blame them with the insipid and unimaginative material, but still, it would be nice if someone was believable for just a moment or two.

The only thing missing from this insipid mish-mash was a spit-take…I mean, good lord, one character was actually run over by another to the accompaniment of the loud and distracting laugh track (yet if it stops her awful Paula Poundstone impression, it’s a good thing).

Honest to goodness, I cannot say enough negative about this dreadful piece of television. It’s programs like this one people point to when they talk about the declining standards of taste. I cannot help but wonder what dunderhead executive at the network shepherded this nonsense, and whether or not this executive will end up sweeping the floor next season, since clearly they have no talent for choosing watchable television. Where usually I have to work on pithy insults for a review, in this case the program itself is the insult - to my intelligence and perception.

Even those who enjoy watching train wrecks will despise this program. Run away. Now.